Chapter One `Those unfinished words...
In the early winter of 1994 the disillusioned Zygote sat to
pen down his frustrations of choosing and passing out from
a stream which he never intended to choose. The Zygote
wrote in his note pad….
(Started: January 27, 1994)
What you ought to be… to be a graduate.
Preface
I have already been to college for five years and am a
graduate now. Currently I am busy and hardly get time for
any other activity. Sleeping is the biggest task I perform
now-a-days, followed by a long go through of the
newspaper. Than the breakfast, lunch and dinner take so
much of my time that I am unable to do any justice to my
favorite television program. Since I am so busy I decided
to write, but it’s my personal request and also a stern
warning that this piece of work is for graduates and no
undergraduate should attempt to read it. However, if by
any chance an undergraduate gives a glance to it please do
not follow any of the unintelligent advices or tips given.
I only intend to share the adventures and experiences of
my college days! Any suggestions or remarks regarding this
work of mine will in no case be appreciated.
At last, but not the least, I thank my weird sense of
humor for having made it possible to create this junk.
Nozzer Pardiwala Bachelor of Commerce
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Chapter 1 Introduction
It’s very hard to believe that you have already finished
your graduation, till the people congratulate you, if you
have scored excellent marks or sympathize with you if it’s
the other way round. Than alas! You get your degree, with
all respect to the mark sheet, by paying a handsome
amount of only a hundred and fifty. It takes time to gulp
down the fact that a piece of paper with some scribbling
on it costs you your pocket money.
Anyway, you wouldn’t mind to part with that huge sum
coz, you expect good returns out of it and of course, how
happy you would be to see it is laminated.
But believe it or not, the film Walla’s are absolutely right
in this matter, at least. You find yourself in the same place
as any Raj Kapoor or Sanjay Dutt would be in any of
their fairly social films searching for a job. The only
difference would be you would not be singing a song on
unemployment as any of these filmy unemployed do.
And do you know what it takes to reach this highly
frustrating state.
I simply mean do you know what you ought to be …to be
a graduate.
Chapter 2 `You need to reach college.
Firstly, you ought to be a wonderful body builder or at
least an athlete, coz to be a graduate you need to learn
something and to learn something you need to go to college
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and to go to college you need to reach there somehow and
to reach there you need to travel.
You are lucky enough if you are a localite, yes lucky
enough to reach in time as well as to score 10% less at
school and still get your admission. However if you are not
a localite you need to face the misfortune of travelling in
the local train. But please don’t be discouraged you can
always buy a first class pass and travel standing with
ease.
It’s not all that difficult as it seems to be, to travel in a
local train. It’ just that you need to be a little smart,
smart in the sense, never let go of an empty seat as the
moment you are taking an important decision of whether
to be seated or to stand? It’s too late. Some smart traveler
has already decided to squeeze in.
Also, be smart enough not to get up from your seat or to
adjust yourself, your neighbor would be fast enough to
grab even a scratch of place left between the two of you.
Once you are seated everything is cool and comfortable,
keeping aside a rare case of someone throwing his head on
to you as he compensates for the lost sleep.
Getting out is not much difficult you just need to leave
yourself loose amidst the crowd. The other moment you
find yourself in or out, as the force may be.
So see how easy or could we say automatic all this is, if
only you are a little smart.
And as the days pass by you become one of the many smart
travelers in town and could even compete with the others.
You could also learn some new skills from them and show
them some of yours.
Travelling by the bus could be equally easy. Only, if it’s a
double decker you need to worry. You need to have an
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18
excellent balance. Else, you could opt to be at the lower
deck.
Also, if you are fortunate enough to own a vehicle it’s the
best way to reach college. Only be sure you have a safe
driver or have a true license. A twenty or fifty rupee note
in your pocket could be very helpful to do away with any
of your flaws against driving rules.
That’s it you have reached college in one single piece. Only
thing, never make a mistake of wearing ironed clothes.
Chapter 3 A Xerox machine would be handy.
The word sounds peculiar and by the time you graduate,
it’s like ice to the Eskimos. Right from that day you got
your S.S.C. examination hall ticket, you feel the need of an
efficient Xerox machine. And it’s not all that it does, it
can also help support your other expenses. You could very
well set an example of self-employment, with your Xerox
machine and yes of course the need increases as the exams
come near. If you are a regular student I mean if you
really do enter your class room every day, then before the
exams you would be busy Xeroxing question papers. You
solve them or not but you do Xerox them. And if you are a
canteen product that is a regular at the canteen, you are
busy Xeroxing notes.
Also you may come across some extra ordinary persons
who have not bought their text books as yet and plan to
Xerox one of yours. This very moment you realize the
waste of time you have been indulging in. But now it is
too late. Only thing that can be done is go asking help
from your friends as your faces may be alien to professors
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and you would hardly know who teaches you what
subject.
However, all this would be a scene of the later years. At
least, for the first year I presume most of you would be
fairly regular and attend your class with all respect for
your professors. Any ways the Xerox machine shall be
handy throughout the college days.
Chapter 4 `You need to have perseverance.
I would be glad to define the word ‘queue’ for you. But I
believe firmly that being a part of the second largest
populated country you would be quite familiar with the
word and need no further explanation.
Since every one of you must have travelled by buses or
trains not alone but at least with your parents by now. It
would be nothing surprising if you come across a long
queue of people waiting for their number to come.
The queue at the college campus is no different, be it for
your first id card or be it for your railway concession. It is
here that you learn what democracy actually is. A person
scoring a distinction would be last in the queue or to your
surprise you may notice that the person heading the queue
bears only a second class and you may be with a first class
somewhere in the middle.
Whatever may be the purpose waiting in the queue for the
first one or two times would be quite boring. But as your
acquaintances increase and as these slowly develop into
friendship you feel standing in the queue far more exciting.
In fact, at times it is rather more active job to stand in the
corridor in a queue rather than sitting passively in the
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dusty class rooms with unenthusiastic classmates and over
enthusiastic professors.
Chapter 5 `You need to choose the right apple.
Most important of all, you need to be choosy. Choosy
about the right lot of persons which eventually become
your acquaintances and later on some may even become
your great friends. You ought to be choosy in this matter
as choosy as you are in selecting the right outfit for the
right occasion. Because if you do not succeed, after a time
you would surely support the age old proverb,
‘A rotten apple in the basket spoils the whole lot.’
Here I would not coat my words sugary sweet and make
you feel that everything is easy and straight. In fact here
is where you learn about yourself in an attempt to learn
about others.
Firstly, you would soon discover a particular lot of people
amidst whom you feel like an unintelligent, timid, ugly
little fool. There may be others amidst whom you may feel
like an intelligent, brave, smart little prince. And there
may be another lot of people amidst whom you would feel
like yourself.
And believe me this is a better place to be in. Yes, better
and not the best. Just because here too, everything is not
as comfortable as it seems to be. As you know, of course
you ought to know it. Where two minds meet either a life
-saving drug is invented or it’s the beginning of a lifelong
argument.
(Left incomplete: February, 1994)
Leave a master piece incomplete.
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Though it may appear to be a juvenile effort at writing at
the first instance, with a little more effort time and devotion
it could have been polished to turn into one.
Some time back, in a sweaty summer afternoon I saw a
young man at the signal swaying a book, Chetan Bhagat’s
Five Point Someone. I bought it. Though I am not an avid
reader I read it. I felt like the most stupid person on earth. I
wish I would have completed or at least made an effort to
complete my tryst with writing.
No point repenting.
Chetan Bhagat did what I didn’t. He had the courage to
first admit to himself that he can write and write really
well, and he had even more courage to put his ideas to
fruition. I love him for that as much I hate myself for
having given up on writing even before having started
completely.
They lie there mocking at me in that note pad…
…those unfinished words…
In this big vast gigantic world, thousands of talented
people are putting their neurons to good use, if you are
late by a fraction of a second you lose.
This is an extract from my first book.
THE MOST SUCCESSFUL FORMULA 2 B UNSUCCESSFUL
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©Nozzer Pardiwala
www.successfulformula.blogspot.in
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